Happy Thursday! Yes, it’s Thursday and that means it time to celebrate! Though we live in a world of economic uncertainty, where the looming menace of poverty seems to hover over our shoulder like some vicious carrion bird noticing the half dead, barely moving body of our once strong nation. Where the Era of New Hope has already lost its footing and fallen into the endless cesspit of American Politics (i.e. enough vicious backstabbing and shadow bargains to put a soap opera to shame). These are not reasons to tremble in fear as the tidal wave of the Doubt comes crashing towards us, opening its maw to engulf what’s left of our sanity and savings. We shouldn’t let this stop us from enjoying life and all its wonders.

            Neither is the fact that the Mexican border has now been extended to that great hub of Southern Culture and Gentility, Atlanta. No, President Obama has not given the American Southwest back to Mexico as a peace offering (with interest of course) to show just how truly sorry we about the Mexican-American War. Instead police reports have shown that recent murders in Atlanta can be traced back to the Mexican drug cartels that operate out of such notorious hells like Juarez and Tijuana. This comes on the heels of assassination of Mexican police, soldiers, and civilians that has yet to be commented on by anyone north of El Paso. The border is awash in blood yet the only thing we can think about is how qualified Caroline Kennedy was and whether Burris knew what Blagojevich was up to.  It seems like with this sort of violence CNN, Fox News, and every major newspaper would have people combing the border interviewing every illiterate Mexican and racist Texan they could find to give an opinion on the matter. Instead we are constantly reminded that Michelle Obama will be on the cover of Vogue Magazine and that the nation will soon be burning in that special place in Hell reserved for Americans (Every country has its own place in Hell much like its own place in the U.N.).

            But these have all been downers! Let’s turn away from that bloodstain slowly seeping across our border and instead focus on the positive things in life to celebrate. Did you hear Blink-182 got back together? Its true, frat boys the world over (and by that I mean in America) wept tears of joy knowing they would no longer have to listen to the crap each band member had put out independently since their break up. Kegs were tapped, collars were popped, and it seemed as if the whole world (America that is) launched into a rousing and drunken rendition of “What’s My Age Again.” The godfathers of tweenage love songs and frat party anthems were back. Maybe they’ll re-release all their old hits like “I Miss You” and “All The Small Things,” but instead they could change the title to “I Miss Being Relevant” and “All The Small Things, Which Were Actually Huge Checks From Our Record Label.” Happy reunion guys, can’t wait to see you on tour!

            Not to be outdone of course by those little pop punk pussies, Limp Bizkit announced that they too will be reuniting. But then again no cares. I’m sure Fred Jones or whatever the hell his name is has plenty of fans that are happy over this, but to some this is the equivalent of having the Grim Reaper stop and ask for directions to the remains of American culture. The Grim Reaper is of course Howie Mandel wrapped in a red Snuggie; it doesn’t take too much imagination to picture him as the Reaver of Souls and Sower of Terror. Then again it also doesn’t take too much imagination to picture ABC making a sitcom out of it starring Mandel, Kristin Bell, and the guy who played Ray Romano’s brother. But no shitty washed up actor’s sitcom is complete without a sassy black women/slacker Asian/Geoffrey the butler from Fresh Prince. I wonder if Wayne Brady’s schedule is clear…

            Like I said there are so many reasons to be happy today. Happy Thursday!