Withholding what little discretion I possess, I walked into Attitudes on Wednesday for their weekly “Comedy Club.” Overall, this pleasing show delivered my hopes for lewd humor mainly filled with graphic sexual content, interspersed with expletives and jokes about drug use and racism. The three performers, Anthony Quinn, Brad Scott, and Lawrence Thomas, endlessly provided smutty humor, pushed our buttons and continually crossed line after line. To sum up, if my mom had reviewed this show, I think her title would read: "Three Filthy and Profane Men Offends Mother of Three."

MC Anthony Quinn, an approachable and friendly Virginia Tech graduate student, has only missed three shows from his five years of hosting the comedy show every Wednesday night. Starting around nine o’clock, his mic check involved a little conversation with the audience. Quinn drawled into the microphone: “I haven’t been feeling well lately.” The comfortable and relaxed audience played around, interjecting “H1N1!” and “Syphilis!” He then introduced the “Negrometer,” a sandwich board on stage counting down levels of black: Fifteen-F.E.M.A., eleven-BET’s 106 & Park, nine-KFC, eight-Tyler Perry Movie, seven-Fresh Prince, etc. A randomly chosen “pretty white girl” in the crowd came to the stage and counts the black people in the room, declaring which level of black it makes the club. All in good fun, the few audience members who expressed mild offence at the immodest and off-color humor got to hear some more light-hearted jokes, like the rough toilet paper in Virginia Tech buildings (“It’s 100% cedar!”), which felt sincere and earnest.

 The opener Brad Scott, a substitute teacher from Indianapolis, performed a brief and enjoyable show. Comparing his looks to DJ from Roseanne and the could-be son of Jeff Goldblum, his humor knew no boundaries. He told a story about drunkenly running into his probation officer at a gas station in Daytona Beach during spring break, how the cornfields in Indiana look like an “enchanted forest” when acid tripping, and his past sexual history with anal sex, masturbating, and dating mishaps. He ended his routine with the memorable adage: “Being a pizza guy is like being a gynecologist: you can smell it, but you can’t eat it.”

Headliner Lawrence Thomas, famed from Fox News’s “Best Damn Sports Show,” came on around ten o’clock in a tye-dye button down shirt, which he later remarked on: “It looks like I raped the Easter Bunny.” His self-deprecating comedy routine started out slightly cleaner than Scott’s, but soon delved into a ten minute discussion about vaginas. His more modest jokes included bugs having sex, being diagnosed with ADD when he turned forty, and cell phone etiquette (“Why do we always have our cell phones out, texting when we’re with other people? We’re not that important!”).

Recently divorced from his wife of ten years, Thomas joked about getting back in the dating scene at forty-six. He pointed out the young women in the crowd who he would have sex with, whose ages ranged from eighteen to thirty-six, and then questioned whether he should let his eleven-year old daughter date, and finally described the phenomenal sensation of touching a breast for the first time. His last bit stemmed from an affronted woman in the first row when he asked the audience what they thought her pubic hair looked like. He asked her: “Sorry, honey. Can I buy you a beer? How about a Busch?” While vulgar and crude at times, Thomas did not take himself too seriously and assured us he meant no harm or offense.

In the future, my next free Wednesday night will definitely involve attending Attitudes Comedy Night. I occasionally felt slightly miffed at the raciness and abrasive humor, but you have to abandon all prudence when you go a comedy show, otherwise you will not find the hilarity in it.

Next Wednesday (Reading Day Eve), Attitudes will attempt a “double show,” potentially a mash-up of comedy and musical performances. Comments, questions and suggestions can be sent to http://attitudesbar.com.
3.5/5